In the past, the primary communication channel for parents was class meetings. However, nowadays, it’s group chat rooms. When something happens in the classroom or at school, these group chats among parents often become very active, sometimes leading to hurt feelings. When parents discuss a particular child, that child’s parent may end up feeling hurt. Often, these situations arise due to differences in expression when communicating in writing. What could be resolved easily through face-to-face conversation becomes exaggerated and seems like a bigger issue. It’s a case of something small being blown out of proportion. Everyone has different writing styles, and simple phrases like “Yes,” “Yes~,” or “Yes~^^” can carry different tones. The true sentiment often doesn’t come across well in writing. I hope we no longer hear stories of parents getting hurt because of group chats. Cyberbullying isn’t just something that needs to be taught to children.
After dropping off their children at school in the morning, some mothers naturally gather at nearby cafes or bakeries. These mothers share small talk and exchange information about their children’s classes, schools, and education, especially among those with younger children. However, it’s important to be cautious not to be swayed by the so-called successful parent of the child next door, as this could indirectly affect your own child.
For working moms, group chats are a way to gather information. They often worry that their child might be disadvantaged because they lack information, so they keep an eye on the group chat. They are curious about what other parents are doing, especially if they hear that the child next door is receiving awards or excelling in some way. They wonder, “Why isn’t my child doing as well?” or “How can my child become like that?” They become eager to learn the secrets. I felt the same way, especially when I saw children who read a lot of books.
“Our child reads quickly. They read several books a day.”
“Really? Isn’t it too much for them?”
“No, they manage just fine.”
“Did they always like reading?”
“Yes, but after going to a speed-reading academy, they now read even faster.”
“What kind of academy is it?”
My ears perked up at my friend’s words. I’ve always been interested in reading education for children. In the classroom, I dedicated morning self-study time to enhancing reading skills and creativity. At home, I also encouraged my children to read a lot because I believe that self-directed learning habits are fundamentally based on reading. When my friend mentioned that her child reads a lot, I was intrigued and considered sending my children as well. However, my children were not interested, so I had to let go of the idea. Upon reflection, I realized that reading quickly isn’t necessarily a good thing. While the method worked well for my friend’s child, it might not suit mine. Children have different dispositions. Even without attending a speed-reading academy, my second child grew up loving books.
The Curriculum Committee has gathered opinions to abolish in-school competitions. Recently, many of the competitions organized by schools and educational institutions have been discontinued due to the problems they cause outweighing the benefits. Elementary schools are gradually phasing out these competitions. Monthly and end-of-year evaluations have also been abolished. Even spelling tests are no longer administered, except as part of teaching correct Korean language skills.
Schools now conduct process-centered assessments to achieve educational goals. The aim is to ensure that students meet basic achievement standards. Teachers check whether students have achieved these standards through formative assessments and performance evaluations. The purpose is to identify whether the student understands the material and what difficulties they are facing so that teachers can provide additional support. Since students learn at different paces, it’s crucial to verify their understanding. However, with almost 30 students in a class, it’s challenging to check who got things right and who didn’t. The point isn’t to rank students but to identify areas where they need help. Despite this, some parents are still fixated on scores and spelling tests, making their children practice late into the night to get a perfect score. It’s better to encourage and acknowledge gradual improvement, as children will then strive to meet their parents’ expectations.
“Why do you want to study well?”
“To make my parents happy.”
“To earn lots of money in the future and ensure my mom and dad live happily.”
Whether they are in lower or upper grades, when asked why they want to do well in school, children consistently respond with, “To make my parents happy,” or “To do well in school so I can earn a lot of money and make my parents happy.” That’s the kind of children they are. However, for many mothers, doing well in school is equated with visible scores or rankings. But scores and rankings are not the true measures of a child’s abilities. Instead of focusing on improving grades at all costs, we should focus on overall academic competence.
The dictionary defines academic competence as “the ability to understand educational content and apply it to create something new.” Therefore, the focus should be on enhancing children’s academic competence, not just their grades. Let’s first fulfill our children’s needs and interests. When we focus too much on scores or rankings, the joy of learning diminishes. We should encourage children to gradually develop their skills in areas they enjoy and excel in, helping them find what they love and are good at.
Schools couldn’t find a reason to continue distinguishing between first, second, and third place in various competitions. Most competitions involved drawing, writing, or making things. While these competitions aimed to help students develop a sense of purpose and showcase their talents, it’s often the case that students who are good at one thing tend to excel in many areas. Moreover, in drawing or writing competitions, girls tend to win more awards than boys due to developmental differences.
With the increasing emphasis on early college admissions, many parents became obsessed with accumulating accomplishments for their children, leading them to hop from one academy to another. During competition season, some students even receive prior coaching on the topics, making their work stand out. However, if you look closely, you might find that these works are not the children’s ideas but imitations of adult thinking—or worse, ideas imposed on them. The abolition of such school competitions is, in my opinion, a fortunate development.
Many people say that the most important key to happiness is “not comparing yourself to others.” In other words, the greatest enemy of happiness is comparison. Even parents who usually live confidently may feel small when their neighbor boasts about their child. However, parents with a strong sense of self-worth don’t focus on immediate scores but on long-term academic competence.
What should parents do to be happy? Rather than wasting energy by comparing themselves to others, parents should spend that time doing things that make them happy. Whether it’s reading a book or engaging in a favorite hobby, making time for oneself is crucial. A parent’s happiness is the best lesson for a child. When parents are happy, they are less likely to be influenced by others.
